The Ladder

Not sure where to start, so I’ll just start.

It’s been a very long time since I updated this blog, a year and a half. I blame a few things: the novel that I started during NaNaWriMo 2010 (and which is almost finished), the new job I got shortly thereafter (that I still have), and the once-a-week French night class (that I had to give up six months ago due to complete life-overwhelm). I suppose I just had other priorities. In any case, here I am, blogging again now.

I missed this blog! I miss blogging in general. Everyone should blog! What a great time capsule and scrapbook for myself, not to mention my own personal online cookbook. “Where’s my quince liqueur recipe? How did I make that winter slaw?” Answer: look on your blog.

I spent some time reminiscing here on my old blog this morning and I really enjoyed it. I’d like to post an update of the backyard, which looks very different from how it did here and here. And the front yard got a significant makeover as well. In addition, we remodeled our basement, building on the work we started here and here in our kitchen. Yay for home improvements.

On the health front, I’m sad to say that the SCD went by the wayside for me sometime in 2012-13. I was getting really healthy again, so naturally, I fell off the wagon. I was still gluten-free, but other very bad things, like sugar and GF grains, crept in. Two weeks ago, I endured a rebound reaction after stopping a topical steroid I’d been using the past year to control my rash, and I ended up in the ER with another round of prednisone. My face swelled up so much that I could hardly open my eyes and my skin was just ablaze. Painful, to say the least. Humbled, once again.

How many times will it take for me to understand that I can’t be a “normal” eater? That I’m not a person with a “normal” amount of environmental allergies, a “normal” gut, or a “normal” immune system? That I’m not a person with a reasonable case of atopic dermatitis, but instead a person with a very severe case of it. Well, I’m not sure yet. I’ve embraced the SCD once again and I’m really, really, really hoping that this third time will be the charm and I’ll be able to stick with it for years to come.

The SCD is the only thing I’ve tried in the past 16 years of dealing with this skin issue that has actually greatly improved it, that attempts to relieve the cause and not just mask the symptoms. I don’t use the word cure. But the SCD is the closest I’ve gotten to a cure for my rash. Also, please note, this is not a little rash, people. It’s a life-altering rash. If anyone says to me that I have a little rash, they can expect a fast, hard punch in the gut. You’ve been warned!

All kidding aside, I’m looking forward to several months from now when I’m hoping to feel better after eating right and taking good care of myself. Radical self care, which is part of how I think of the SCD, is a big challenge for me. But it’s what I need to keep practicing.

The upshot here is, of course, that I still love cooking and food. I always will. Cooking has been my longtime hobby and when I can turn around my poor-me attitude, I actually feel nicely challenged by the SCD way of approaching food. For that, I’m extremely grateful.

So, that’s the update. I’ll leave you with one of my favorite parts of Adrienne Rich’s “Diving into the Wreck”, which you should probably click-thru to read right now.

   There is a ladder.
   The ladder is always there
   hanging innocently





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4 responses to “The Ladder

  1. gorthx

    I missed your blog too! 😀 Sorry to hear you had a relapse (is that the right word…) Looking forward to more posts, and hope to see you at one of the camping trips 🙂

  2. mom

    oh my that reminds me to much like shingles but they dont go on forever. hope things start improving for you ,,,,lov

  3. mjennings26

    Thanks, Mom! Feeling a little better today. Pickle is keeping me company.

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