The Rash Speaks

Me: Why do you have to make a fool of me for saying that my garlic bomb passed without a problem?

Rash: Get a clue. I’m the one who asks questions around here.

Me: Are you trying to torture me?

Rash: You have nice hands. They make a great host. And they’re tasty.

Me: What is it that you want from me?

Rash: Well, I find myself on the verge of answering one of your idiotic questions…how ’bout those Mets? You do have delicious hands, by the way.

Me: Had delicious hands.

Rash: Semantics.

Me: It seems like your deadly cycle has sped up lately. It used to take 48 hours for the rash-burn to manifest after I ate something, now it takes 24 hours. Would you say that’s true?

Rash: [Munch, munch.] Mmm! These hands taste good. God, I love flesh!

Me: Does this mean that the healing cycle will also speed up?

Rash: [Munch, munch.] Damn, girl! You got anymore of this stuff? Where you hidin’ it?!

Me: You’ve eaten almost all of it, you greedy bastard.

Rash: Hey, now. No need to get all hissy ’bout it.

Me: Why do you have an Okie accent?

Rash: Why don’t YOU just leave me alone?

Me: You’re the one who’s taken up residence in my body, remember?

Rash: You’re taking a long time to kill, witch. You got some kind of super genes.

Me: I’ll be sure to thank my parents for that.

Rash: Well, I’d love to continue our little chat [munch, munch], but I got some eating to do. Bye now!

Hand with Burn-Rash


Filed under Food allergies

3 responses to “The Rash Speaks

  1. As I’m sitting here almost in tears trying to figure out if my daughter is scratching because she has itchy welts or if the welts actually showed up as a result of the scratching, I found myself drawn to this post today. I’d like to have a conversation with HER rash let me tell you…I’d let him have it!

  2. mjennings26

    Allergy Mom,
    Thanks so much for the comment. I am so sorry to hear about your daughter’s hives. That sounds terrible. It’s one thing to be an adult with something I don’t understand…I can’t imagine being a child with this.

    My best to you both. Hang in there.


  3. NoPo Celiac

    You know you’re in for a hurtin’ recovery when the ailment is actually talking back to you! Thanks for making me laugh. Laughter has to be at least a close second to Chinese herb tea for healing your hands, so I’m glad your sense of humor is undaunted.

    P.S. I may be able to help with the CSS queries. Drop me a line and let me know what you’re trying to do.

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